


Blame it on a Leitner

by ampersandcastle



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Abnormal amounts of curry, Crack?, Ficlet, Gen, I blame Tim's recipe, Jon needs a nap, Season one or somewhere around there, This is DUMB, but it made me giggle so here it is, leitners can be used as an excuse for everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:06:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22516720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ampersandcastle/pseuds/ampersandcastle
Summary: “What did you do?” Sasha asked. She’d come to investigate the sudden shouts from the breakroom, and found her coworkers standing in the small space, splattered with bright yellow stains.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	Blame it on a Leitner

**Author's Note:**

> This was literally written in like fifteen minutes and then edited in half that time, but the idea wouldn't leave my head until I got it down.

“What did you do?” Sasha asked. She’d come to investigate the sudden shouts from the breakroom, and found her coworkers standing in the small space, splattered with bright yellow stains.

“I didn’t mean to! It just happened.” Martin set aside the spoon and tried to wipe his glasses clean with the edge of his shirt, but only managed to smudge them further.

Tim looked around the breakroom with obvious glee. “Oh, god, it’s everywhere. This is even worse than the last time.” 

“This has happened before? And you thought it would be a good idea to try again at work?" Martin asked, his voice getting higher with each question, "Why would you even- Why?”

“Don’t look at me!” Sasha said, raising her hands defensively. "I wasn't even in the room." 

“It was your turn to choose lunch!”

“I was talking about takeout! It was Tim’s idea to make it himself, and you’re the one who decided to help him, if you’ll remember.”

The sound of the door unlocking had all of them freezing, staring wide-eyed as Jon entered. 

“What are you all yelling about?”

Stepping inside, he blinked, trying to make sense of what he was looking at, only to grimace as his sleep-deprived brain finally processed the sight of them and the room. He opened his mouth to comment as his eyes continued to roam in displeasure, only to pause as he eyed the ceiling in disgust and horror.

“…..Explain.”

“It was a Leitner,” Sasha said with an unreasonable amount of confidence.

“A Leitner.” Jon fixed Sasha with a Look, but she held her ground.

“Yeah, a Leitner. We found it on Martin’s desk, didn’t realize what it was until we opened it, and by then it was too late.”

“There is no way a Leitner got—” he walked over to a yellow smear on the wall and sniffed at it, “—got curry on the ceiling.”

“No, it did. We opened the cover and it just started spewing everywhere. Martin got the worst of it since he was the one who opened it.”

“Alright, let’s say you’re telling the truth. If that were the case, then where is the book?”

“We burnt it,” Tim interjected when Sasha began to flounder. “I mean, we all know what those things can do, so we burnt it before things could get any worse.”

"How... How could this have gotten worse?”

“It might have moved on to palak paneer?” Martin flinched slightly and flushed as Jon’s gaze moved on to him.

“…Right.” Jon closed his eyes, trying to force back the headache so he could get back to work. “I would recommend that you clean this mess up before Elias comes down. And if you choose to stick with your story about the Leitner, you may want to put away the dishes and turn off the stove.” He nodded to where the rest of the curry was slowly burning on the cooktop before turning to flee to the relative safety of his office, leaving his assistants stood in silence as curry slowly dripped from the ceiling.

“Well,” said Tim, “I think that went well.” 

Martin dropped his head to the table with a groan, taking a moment to wonder how he got into these situations before wetting a towel and getting started on the worst of the curry stains.

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of this prompt: https://write-it-motherfuckers.tumblr.com/post/190554598472/bookandyarndragon-write-it-motherfuckers


End file.
